Frequently newly wed couples are shocked at how much work is needed for the marriage to thrive. While they may accept the trials and responsibilities of a business relationship or parenting responsibilities, they often naively look at their married union as an oasis free from the trials and stresses of everyday life.
Oh, if the honeymoon could last forever! But soon reality squeezes into the marriage and the couple discovers that romance needs to be partnered with a solid foundation upon which to base the longevity of their union.
Here are a few tips to help you begin to build your marriage on a foundation that will withstand the pulls and tugs of life.
- Handle the past. Past relationships can be a delicate subject. Often it is wise to let the past remain in the past. But if there are issues you need to air out, do so. Just clear the air and move on.
- Put your agreements and disagreements behind you. It is not just old boyfriends and old girlfriends that can cause you friction. You and your beloved can do that all by yourselves. Make it a point to resolve past differences. Forgive and forget. Yeah, FORGET.
- Make plans for the future. Make plans - but don't chisel them in stone! Their needs to be give and take with your future hopes and dreams. Be patient and flexible. Don't be a doormat but show some consideration to your spouse.
- Enjoy the present. Happy marriages are filled with happy moments. Many only happen once- a child's first words, his or her first steps. Treasure the present. We are not guaranteed the future.
The path you take in your marriage can be chosen consciously or happen by accident. While some spontaneity is good, planning and old fashioned hard work are key ingredients to almost any happy marriage recipe.