Your Marriage. How Firm a Foundation?

While each and every relationship requires work, a happy marriage requires a whole lot more work. Marriages may look easy from the outside, but those couples that make it look easy know better.

Frequently newly wed couples are shocked at how much work is needed for the marriage to thrive. While they may accept the trials and responsibilities of a business relationship or parenting responsibilities, they often naively look at their married union as an oasis free from the trials and stresses of everyday life.

Oh, if the honeymoon could last forever! But soon reality squeezes into the marriage and the couple discovers that romance needs to be partnered with a solid foundation upon which to base the longevity of their union.

Here are a few tips to help you begin to build your marriage on a foundation that will withstand the pulls and tugs of life.

1. Handle the past. Past relationships can be a delicate subject. Often it is wise to let the past remain in the past. But if there are issues you need to air out, do so. Just clear the air and move on. 
2. Put your agreements and disagreements behind you. It is not just old boyfriends and old girlfriends that can cause you friction. You and your beloved can do that all by yourselves. Make it a point to resolve past differences. Forgive and forget. Yeah, FORGET.
3. Make plans for the future. Make plans - but don't chisel them in stone! Their needs to be give and take with your future hopes and dreams. Be patient and flexible. Don't be a doormat but show some consideration to your spouse.
4. Enjoy the present. Happy marriages are filled with happy moments. Many only happen once- a child's first words, his or her first steps. Treasure the present. We are not guaranteed the future.

The path you take in your marriage can be chosen consciously or happen by accident. While some spontaneity is good, planning and old fashioned hard work are key ingredients to almost any happy marriage recipe.

Do You Keep Asking Yourself, "What Can I Do To Save My Marriage?"

If you find yourself constantly asking, "What can I do to save my marriage?"; there is precious little doubt that your marriage has hit a definite rough patch. But - before you rush forward with any scheme to salvage your marriage- you probably should spend at least a little time in reflection.

You need to take the time to figure out a plan to effectively answer the "what can I do to save my marriage" question. If you rush into things you'll probably find yourself running around in circles and ending up in one dead end after another. Haste makes waste.


You need to talk with your husband or wife if you haven't done so already. The best situation is that both of you feel that the marriage is worth saving and that you will go forward together. In this case you have several ways forward. Each option carries with it some good points as well as some potential drawbacks.

You can try and figure things out by yourselves. Maybe professional marriage counseling is the best way forward for you and your spouse. Perhaps you can use one of the various online e-books that deal with repairing relationships.

Marriage counseling can help mend your marriage but it is many times a long and expensive process. There can be strong tensions associated with opening up your lives to a third party - especially if you or your spouse is reluctant to submit to counseling.

While fixing your marriage by working together can be a positive and rewarding experience, it is a two edged sword. It is all too easy to make matters worse because of not knowing how to go about things properly. Well meaning discussions can quickly degenerate into arguments simply because of the unstructured nature of your communications.

The use of a good guide such as 'The Magic of Making Up' can help you avoid these traps and roadblocks to getting what you both really want. It can be a very helpful guide to help you answer the question, "What can I do to save my marriage?"