Friday, November 4, 2011

Are Your Irreconcilable Differences Really Ireconcilable?


"Irreconcilable Differences" ... It is such an unnatural buzz phrase that has seemingly become so fashionable in our modern world. It is something to hide behind in many instances. Something to keep from saying in plain English just what the problems are.

I suspect that many of the married folk that are heading to divorce are summing up the failure of their marriage behind this vague term. But are the differences really so irreconcilable or has divorce just simply become the path of least resistance and the easy way out for a stale marriage?

Maybe your marriage has been stamped "IRRECONCILABLE" and is heading for divorce. But perhaps you have a quiet voice in your soul that whispers, " It is not so."

If this describes you, perhaps it is time to step back from the divorce march and re-access your marriage. Is it worth saving? Are the difference really irreconcilable? Or can the marriage be saved?

Thursday, November 3, 2011

She Says She Wants a Divorce - What You Can Do To Stop It

This time you have really done it, right? You screwed up badly and she is fed up and wants to divorce you! She is tired of being treated like a "second class citizen". She is tired of your controlling ways. She says that she is sick of all your stuff and tired of having to deal with you. She is so fed up that she is threatening to dissolve the marriage.

But you do not want that. You want desperately to stay together and work things out. But how do you turn things around and convince her to stop the divorce plans? All the things you are trying now are not working, are they? This article will highlight a few methods and strategies that you can employ in order to give you a better chance to stop the divorce.

First, let's take a look at the type of things that just don't work when the marriage has become this broken. Sending flowers or saying, "I love you", are usually regarded as empty and manipulative gestures at this point. Such superficial actions can just cause continued resentment. They will just cause her to resist any changes in her present attitude.

Another ineffectual way of trying to restore the relationship is to tell your wife that you will change your behavior. You can expect her to meet this re-assurance with disbelief and even contempt. Talk is cheap and you had better believe she knows it!

The issue in your marriage is one of control. Whether you mean to or not, you have become controlling and even manipulative. You have not given your wife equal footing in the marriage. She has a need to be listened to and respected. For whatever reason, this need is not being met.... and it is getting old, real fast!

In order to stop the divorce talk, she needs to change her mind. Get it - she needs to change her mind. Any attempts by you to change her mind for her will only be met with resistance. You need to give her the time and space she needs to work things out. Be agreeable and sincere with her. Show her you respect and value her opinion. Cease all the controlling behaviors of the past and allow her to be a full and equal partner. That is how it always should have been anyway.

If you have been guilty to dominating and controlling your wife, stop it. If you want to stop going down the road to divorce, start treating her with sincere respect. It will yield more results than empty words and a room full of flowers.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Are You Wondering If Your Boyfriend Truly Loves You?


It is common in relationships for a little doubt to creep in from time to time. At times you may find yourself wondering whether or not your boyfriend truly loves you.

You may try to dismiss the question from your mind and think you are being quite silly, then something occurs - or fails to occur - and you find yourself returning to this same question. Does he really love you? Perhaps these four simple questions can help you settle the question once and for all.

When you gaze into his eyes, does he look straight into your eyes? While gazing romantically into one another's eyes can be a demonstration of your love for each other, it is not fool proof. Yes, his ability to gaze lovingly into you eyes can demonstrate his devotion to you. Likewise, a beau that can not seem to look you in the eyes could be deceptive - or just bashful. There are certainly instances whether his averting his eyes reveals an overwhelming love and attraction. You really need to interpret how he reacts to you based upon his personality.

Does he show you respect? This is a much more concrete sign of whether or not he truly loves you. Is he honest and open with you? Does he value your input and opinions? Are you his confidante on a wide range of matters? Do you support each other through life's challenges and obstacles? Respect can be shown in a multitude of ways and your guy should be showing your much respect if he really is in love with you.

Does he make time for you? In our hectic world, there never seems to be enough time in the day. We are continually juggling our schedules - deleting this and moving that. The question is: Are you the one getting deleted and moved around?

While there are sometimes that it is really is an unavoidable conflict, taking the back seat on his schedule too often can be an unconscious signal that he really does not love you. It is at the least a subject that you need to bring to his attention. Give him a chance to mend his ways and show you he really loves you and just got caught up in things.

Does he remember those special, romantic days? Does he still remember the special days you share from anniversaries to birthdays. Does he do his best to make you feel special at these times? His track record on these special days can give you an insight into his heart.


While these four questions can help you resolve the question that has been troubling you, always keep in mind that they are only a guide. You must interpret them and apply them to your guy. You know your boyfriend better than anyone else. You must use your powers of discernment to ultimately determine whether or not his love is yours and only use these questions as a helpful guide.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Online Dating & Relationship Advice : Signs That He Cares About You

Can You Save Your Marriage After An Affair ?


Most marriages do not survive a discovered affair and end because of it. An inability to trust is the main reason why even couples that still love each other very much are unable to put the affair behind them and move forward with the marriage.

Having the trust of your marriage betrayed by the spouse you have loved and trusted makes overcoming the betrayal extremely difficult. If you want to save your marriage despite this breech of trust understand that you are in for a difficult and time consuming process.

If you have now decided to try and save the marriage, the first thing you need to determine is why he or she strayed. Finding the real cause of the adultery enables you to determine whether it is something that can be repaired in the marriage. You need to determine you - as well as your spouse -are willing to do your part in trying to change things.

But why should I have to change? It may sound unfair and cruel that you should have to change anything. After all, you were not the one that had the affair! But some changes on your part may be a helpful dynamic in resolving some underlying issues. This is certainly not saying you are to blame in any way. It is just a recognition that it is going to take both you and your spouse working together to save your troubled marriage.

One thing only you can do is to forgive your husband or wife. This is a difficult action that will most likely take some time and soul searching on your part. It is crucial for you to be able to become able to truly forgive your spouse for the marriage to survive. Give yourself all the time and space you need for this. Do not allow your spouse to pressure you into a half-hearted forgiveness.

After you have forgiven your spouse, you both need to work together and spend time working on the underlying problems of your marriage. Had you began to neglect the marriage and take each other for granted? Had one or both of you grown tired of the relationship? Whatever the underlying problems, they need to be recognized - and resolved - by both of you. Do not hesitate to seek help and educational. Yours is not the first marriage to experience this harsh blow.

It may be helpful to think of this as a new, fresh relationship as you move forward. Maybe you need to begin at the beginning and get to know each other as you did when you were dating. There is hope for your marriage if you are determined to work together and save it.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Relationship Advice - Breakups Are Never Easy - How You Can Avoid Them



Whether you are the one initiating the breakup or the unfortunate one that is receiving the bad news, breaking up never is easy. When a relationship that once held high hopes and passion comes to a close it hurts to think of all the time and effort you spent in building the relationship. A broken relationship can leave you dealing with guilt, anger, depression or any of a number of negative emotions.

There are countless ways a relationship can unravel and come to an end. People change or they fail to change. When you are in a relationship, it is constantly evolving. It may be getting better or it may be getting worse. A relationship can crumble due to neglect or it can become suffocated by too much attention. Sometime two people just realize it is time to call it quits and mutually end the relationship on good terms.

While this paints a dismal picture, rest assured that not all relationships end up on the scrap heap. While all relationships are a challenge in one way or another, there are countless matches that have withstood the tests of time. There are just as many relationships that have endured their trails and ended up stronger than ever.

If you find your relationship on rocky shores, take stock. Decide whether it is time to call it quits or re-double your efforts to strengthen the union. Do not give up on a relationship too easily. They say "It is always darkest before the dawn", you know?

If you do decide to try and get back together after a break up, there are a few time tested rules you would be wise to follow. Probably the most important thing is to approach your ex from a strong position. Do not beg and grovel. Hold your head high. You should look strong and attractive to your ex. You want to get back together with a solid foundation for your future.

Another helpful strategy is to begin the relationship as a fresh one. Don't pick up the relationship from where it ended. Consider this a new relationship where you both need to win over each others affections anew. Many floundering relationships can be saved if only you avoid the common mistakes made by others. By having a game plan and following a course that gives you the best chance of happily getting back together, you can make your relationship better than ever.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Does Your Partner Know What Your Relationship Needs Are? ... It's Important!


Did you know that having your needs met in a relationship is a strong indicator of the chances of that relationship lasting and being one filled with happiness? Well, when you put it that way... yes.

Not having your needs met is an obvious cause of relationship troubles. It is especially important if you and your partner have broken up in the past and managed to get back together again. Make sure that your partner is well aware what you need from the relationship this time around. And you should ask him or her what they need from the relationship.

It may take more than just asking about their needs but that is a start. You can not read their mind or make assumptions. Take time to get this right and your relationship will benefit greatly. Different people need different things from their relationships.

Because we want different things, it is important to not assume your partner wants the same things from your relationship that you do. For example, you may be the type of person that needs to hear how much your partner loves you. Because of this, you probably be quite generous with telling your partner how much you love him or her.

But perhaps your partner needs to be shown how much you love him or her through actions. You partner may feel that, " Words are cheap.", and value any little actions you take to show your love. People are naturally wired - it seems - to value different mode of expression. While one person yearns to hear or see how much you love them another person may need to see that love demonstrated.

There are several ways that you can find out the best way to show your love and meet your partners needs. You can often figure out the mode that is most important to them by observation and careful listening. If your partner tends to use visual words and expressions they make need to see how much you love them in order to feel that their needs are met. They may say, "I see what you mean" as opposed to "I hear that" or "I feel ya'" .

The words people use can often assist you in unlocking the combination that will let you satisfy the needs they want fulfilled in a relationship.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Is It Possible to Get Your Boyfriend Back - Even After He Has Broken Up With You?



Has your boyfriend ended his relationship with you? Has he called it quits? If you are currently
going through this type of break up, you are probably hurting and have lots of questions about why he chose to break up.

If you did not want to break up, you are undoubtedly asking yourself whether or not you can get back together with your now ex-boyfriend and restore the relationship. This is a difficult and emotional time. It is a time when you are not at your best when deciding your plans for the future.

While it may go against your desires and instincts the first thing you need to do is say away from your ex and give both him and yourself some time and space. Rushing back together or pestering and pleading are strategies that will not give you the results you want.

The break up could end up being over trivial and silly things. Or there may be more substantial issues behind it. You need to consider the situation and determine whether getting back together is possible - or desirable. It is too easy to let your heart overwhelm your reason and trap you into a relationship that is just no good for you.

After you have given yourself some time and perspective - and determined that the relationship is worthy salvation, there are some strategies you should think about employing to give yourself the best chance of getting back together.

The reconciliation should be on your terms. There are two reasons for this. First, by making your ex boyfriend put some effort in to getting back together you increase the chances of restoring the relationship on a more permanent and solid footing. If he knows that he can not just come and go as he pleases, he will not act so rashly in the future.

The second reason for conducting the reconciliation on your terms has to do with your self respect. If you allow yourself to be treated with no respect any relationship you have will be a dismal and desperate one. You will be more attractive in his mind if you convey your worth to him by demanding respect.

There are simple steps that you can take to get back together with an ex boyfriend. Often the complusions of the heart betray us at a time like this. It is better for us and the relationship to follow a time tested process that will help restore the relationship between you and your boyfriend and make that union stronger and happier than ever before. Learn more.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Dating Again But Still Thinking of Your Ex-boyfriend?

Have you started to date and still can not get your ex-boyfriend out of your mind? Do you find continually thinking about restarting your old relationship? If you have truly made an effort to move on but your feelings keep wandering back to the happy times you and your ex-boyfriend shared maybe you should try to re-kindle the sparks once again.

Here are some ideas you may want to try in order to get back together.

If you have made the decision to attempt to revive the old relationship, does it make any sense to give any energy to other dating relationships. Firmly resolve to not expend any time and energy with other men. If you are having trouble with this step it likely indicates you have not really made up your mind yet.

The next step involves how you pursue the relationship with your ex-boyfriend. There is a world of difference between a dignified pursuit of an adult relationship and a desperate, clingy attempt to get back together. Do not let yourself become his doormat. He will respect you for it and you will feel better about yourself. And acting in a mature and confident manner will make you more attractive in his eyes - and increase the chances of you two getting back together.

It is also a good idea to make this relationship a fresh relationship. What I mean is do different things than those that you did before. Do not go to the same old restaurants and the same old places. Strive to be imaginative and creative and bring some exciting new experiences into relationship 2.0

Try to look at things positively and leave old baggage in the past. While you should not put your head in the sand there is no reason you bring up trivial issues that can make being together a hassle. Encourage each other in the areas that need work and try not to get bogged down in minor details.

If getting back together with your ex-boyfriend is truly meant to be, putting in the thought and effort needed to rekindle the magic is well worth it. Take your time and build a solid foundation for your future happiness!

Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Magic of Making Up - Is it a Scam?

Thinking of purchasing The Magic of Making Up? This brief video review gives both some of the pros as well as the cons of this ebook. You can learn more here.

Learning The Secret to a Great Relationship From Past Bad Relationships

Relationships can be darned complicated and frustrating as heck, can't they? If you've had your share of ups and downs in relationships over the years, there is something you can learn from them and apply to the next break up or other turmoil that happens in your current relationships. You can confirm the secret I'm about to share with you just by looking back over all the past relationships in your life.

If you are like most of us, you have had a wide range of past relationships that eventually ended. Sometimes it really is mutual where you both grow tired of each other - or just can't stand one another! But most of the time when a relationship fails, either you or your partner wants it to end. And then a curious thing happens.

I'll use my past to illustrate. I'm remembering one long past love affair where the young lady - I'll call her Marie- pretty much treated me like a dog! Looking back, it is difficult to remember anything about Marie that was so attractive. But during the time we dated, I danced to her tune and would do anything to please her. I guess she wished that I would disappear but the more she ignored me - the more desperate I became.

On the other hand, there was this girl in college that seemed to be chasing me. ( Difficult to believe, I know ). I didn't even think we had anything more than a casual friendship but Ann saw things in a different light. I even remember one time when she called me up and asked for my phone number!

Do you see a pattern in these relationships? I'll bet you have had experiences like these in your past: times where you were desperately chasing someone you thought was so amazing and times when someone thought you were special.

It seems that it is just human nature to want something - or someone - we can not have. And we tend to react in a way that makes attracting that relationship almost impossible.

So, the lesson is clear. In order to attract someone, you need to be in the psychological position that is attractive. There is no need to over do things but a little thought to how your actions will effect your partner can go a long ways to building and maintaining a healthy relationship.


Learn how you can stop that break up ... even when it seems hopeless. Click Here!

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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

After The Break Up - Avoid These Common Mistakes and Learn How You Can Get Back Together


Did you know that most break ups - even the serious ones - can be patched up? Yes, if you avoid the all too common mistakes that most people make after a break up, then there's no need for the split to become permanent.

Even though most break ups can be fixed, it is a sad fact that too many break ups become permanent. Break ups become permanent in spite of our desperate efforts to make things right. Our natural, emotional reactions tend to drive us farther apart instead of closer together.

But the good news is that there is a way to dramatically increase your chances of getting back together. There are time tested steps you can take to get back together with your ex even when things seem almost hopeless. In this article, we'll take a look at some steps you should take as well as some common actions you need to avoid.

The initial step you need to take might seem - at first - to be the easiest but it can be the most challenging. That first step is to give you and your ex some time and space. Insist on a cooling off period with no contact. Immediately after you have broken up emotions run high and feelings are raw. When you insist on a cool down period, you give the both of you a chance to gain some perspective - and rationality!

Insisting on a cooling off period with no contact also gives you the subtle benefit of demonstrating your independence and ability to get along just fine by yourself. By demonstrating this self sufficiency, you let your ex see you in a more powerful and positive position. When you appear needy or desperate you tend to drive your partner away. When you are strong and independent, your ex will begin to see all the attractive qualities that made you so attractive when you first met.

After you have established this initial period of no contact, it is time to take the next steps. These steps are where you will build on the independence and attractiveness you started in step one. Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for yourself, you are going to spend some time and effort on you!

Get out and have fun with old friends. Meet some new friends. Do something for yourself that you have been putting off for a while. Perhaps you had been putting so much effort into the relationship that "you" got lost in the process. Now is the time to correct that.

You want to get your relationship back through attraction instead of by chasing after it. You can see by pursuing things in this manner, you not only increase your chances of restoring the old relationship - you create the opportunity to rebuild that relationship on a much stronger foundation. You rebuild the relationship on terms where you are valued and respected.

I hope this article has been helpful and has clearly demonstrated the advantages of having a well thought out plan of action when you are trying the restore a broken relationship. By taking these initial steps you will have already increased the chances of getting back together and having an even better relationship as you go forward. If you would like to learn more about restoring your relationship, be sure and check out this video.


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Friday, July 1, 2011

Get Back Together With Your Boyfriend - Girls, Here's Your Guide To Making Up!


If you want to get your guy back. If you want to really convince him that what you share is special - this brief guide to getting your guy back should set you on the right track.

Let's face facts. In most instances the events that led up to your break up were caused by the both of you! Even if you cheated on him or he cheated on you - the fault for breaking up is still a shared responsibility.

In order for you to stand any chance of making up with your guy, you both need to forgive and forget. Trying to forgive and not to forget just will not work. you need to let go of the past and let go of all that anger. You can not allow the anger to cloud your relationship's future.

If you sincerely want to get your guy back for any period of time, you may need to apologize for your part in the break up. The apology should be sincere and heartfelt. A "going through the motions " apology is likely to be manipulative and ineffective.

( Learn what you can do to get your ex-lover back in your arms. Even if you are the only one trying! Click Here! )

Sometimes, you may need to chase your ex-boyfriend a little. You may need to show him you are still interested - just don't over do things. Dozens of text messages and phone calls can convince him that you have become a stalker.

Getting you boyfriend back may mean starting again at the beginning. Do not expect things to always resume when they used to be. A time to re-build trust and comfort may be needed. Hurt feelings take time to heal. Allow your renewed relationship time to blossom.

Not all relationships can be restored. But too many that could be rekindled never are the same again. If you feel your damaged relationship is worth saving, arm yourself with the knowledge to make things good again. Don't allow what could be a wonderful relationship wither and die from the lack of knowing the steps needed to put it back together again.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Time to Move On! Get Over That Guy!


It's no secret that getting over a guy that you once had a close relationship can be very difficult. It does not matter who dumped who - that empty void in your heart will not be easily filled. And even though it will not be easy, you know - deep down - that you can get over him and move on with your life.

Here are a few simple steps to help you move forward with your life.

Put it down on paper. A technique many people find effective is to write a long letter describing the relationship. Write it to your ex-boyfriend. Talk about everything - good and bad - as you saw things. Spend some time composing the letter. Really put your emotions and feelings down on paper.

When you have finished the letter, set it on fire and throw it in the fireplace. You're not going to send it to your ex. Watching it go up in smoke is an excellent metaphor to the ending of your relationship. It can give you closure as you watch that letter being consumed in fire.

Clear your living space of all reminders of him. This can be anything from a portrait to one of his shirts. By clearing your space of his stuff you symbolically clear your emotional space as well.

Get out and do things with your good and lasting friends. Let's face it, guys come and go. But your true friends will always be there for you. Go out and do some of those girly things you have been neglecting.

Use your newly freed up time to take care and nourish yourself. It's time for some me time. Go to the spa. Take a walk. Do some exercising. Anything to productively attend to your needs.

Moving on takes some resolve and effort. Sure, there's a time to mope and be sad. But don't wallow in self pity for too long. It is time to look forward to a happy and loving future. It is time to move on!